Blinded Heart
by Dazzle My Vajazzle
Summary: There's a world outside, full of opportunities and new experiences for me to enjoy but without her and her love it feels like my heart is blind.


_**Andrea POV**_

Relationships cause a lot of trouble, more then there worth if you ask me. But sometimes, with that special person who's in your heart and soul, you'll risk it all and put all your emotion into a relationship with that special person. Sometimes it's as happy as a budgie staring at it's own reflection as it sways back and forth on it's swing, other times it's a bull in a china shop. Total train wreck. It's like what thye though, isn't it? You never know if you don't try. I used to be told that constantly whenever I refused to eat broccoli and other soggy, flavourless vegetables. Not every relationship is the same since all human beings are unique, well except most blokes. If you ask me a girl only needs a bloke to open jars and for sperm. Most blokes are complete wankers and most girls are complete bitches. It's no wonder why homosexuals are the happiest out of everybody else, since they are of the same sex they understand each other better. I should know, I am one.

I know I've just said homosexuals are the happiest humans alive and I know I've just said I'm attracted to girls which makes me a homosexual but I'm not happy. I'm not depressed or contributing to rising sea levels by crying endlss oceans, I'm just not happy. It's odd and hard to explain but it's like purgatory, I'm stuck in some of limbo. It's not hell or heaven, it's just the middle bit. The netrual part. I would be classed as heart broken if I didn't have the typical Emo heart of stone, but the stone casing of my once solid heart has been broken. The stone has gone and left a soggy mess that resembles Kelly's attempt at cooking, that's not the only thing about me that's gone but that's a story for another time. You see, that one special person who worms there way into your most precious organ can only do this to you. Classic teenage heart break syndrome. Though I'm not heart broken, just stuck in a confused state.

That one special person, my special person, was a loud mouthed Chav who didn't understand the difference between Australia and Austria. In case you don't know and like Taylor, crap at Geography, it's the weather and the fact that they are on opposite sides of the world. She had her Chelsea parker moments and she was sometimes more annoying then the morning bird song but Taylor was kinder and softer then she let on. I saw a side to her that shocked me, surprised me in the kindest of ways, and she saw the less intimidating side me. I thought I knew better then anyone else, I should have, but I was wrong. That doesn't matter now, in the words of the Goo Goo Dolls, everything'ss made to be broken and believe me the foundations most definatly did break in half. Taylor was on one side of the crack and I was the other.

Out of all the things me and the arrogant but otherwise chharming Chav did I miss the conversations that we used to share the most. Whenever I we talked she used to stroke my black hair and soothe the worries and doubts I had away. Anything I couldn't handle, Taylor would pick the weight up off of my shoulders with her arms and take it all on herself. She wasn't my carer or protector, I can look after myself, but it felt as if she was my soul mate. She wasn't of course, that was the hormones talking, but whenever I was down in the dumps she was always there. Taylor wasn't as uncaring as she made out to be, she was gentle and tender. Like Kelly is with Annabelle in some ways but they're still happily shagging. I won't go into detail with that either, only a Tottie would want know those type of details. Besides, I don't want to know what those two get up.

I can't forget about Taylor the tender Chav, there's too many memories to pour down the sink. I don't want to forget the way she held my hand, joked about and held me when I couldn't sleep at night. If I wanted to forget the feel of her lips on mine, I couldn't. It's etched permanatly into my dark, disturbing mind. I can't feel that blissful, floating feeling that Taylor's lips did to me but I can remember the happiness it brang and the peace it gave me. I thought we were linked together like a strong, stainless steel chain, but we obviouslyb weren't if we ended how we did. I'm not a lucky person, I don't have the word written on my neck like Taylor's favourite rapper, but Taylor made me feel lucky. She was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But I wasn't the lucky one in this situation, I though she was the one for me.

I've been reading through the notes we passed in lessons, I've kept each and everyone of them safe. I know that they're only pieces of scrap paper but to me it's proof that Taylor wasn't one of those realistic dreams that I've just woken up from, it proves that what Taylor and I had was real. It wasn't a fairytale. The kisses, the caressing touches, the warmth and the butterflies were real. Everything was real. There's one note, in Taylor's ureadable handwriting that always brings a lump to my throat. It was the first time she told me those three little meaningful words that summed up a true relationship between two people. Every time I read those three little words my soggy mess of a heart breaks. Who would've thought that one sweet kiss could cause all of this pain?

There's always somebody who is going to bring you down to the lowest of places, it doesn't matter if you try and stand your ground because they will find a way to succeed. It's one of the cruelties of the life in which we live in. Doesn't matter how strong you are physically or how strong you are mentally, somebody will always be there to bring you down. So, I drop the few tears on my pillow that still smells of Taylor's cheap Chav perfume because it's hard when she's not around to soothe the worries away from my body. Maybe she called it off because I was out of line, in my defence she did insult my tribe which in effect insulted me. Maybe it was something I said or maybe it just wasn't working. There's a world outside, full of opportunities and new experiences for me to enjoy but without her and her love it feels like my heart is blind.

It's impossible for me to trust another person with something as fragile as my emotions, that's what happens when you have a broken heart. If I ever find a way to heal, it my take some time at this rate, I will remember one small but rather important detail. Any lover possesses the power to toy with your feelings and leave you standing alone in the dark. I know Taylor didn't mean to just drop me like she did, it's not her fault for leaving me in the dark. Shit happens and this just happened in a blink of an eye. It's been a couple of months since my world stopped turning and I'm still stuck in this limbo, she threw away the key I needed to unlock the big woodern door that's trapping me here. I'm longer what I used to mean to her, I'm nothing but a piece of her history. She left me on my own, left me fighting and took away the shining light. She took away my smile and Taylor doesn't even care.

Well, I'm going to take this as a lesson. Relationships will only end two ways and the way mine and Taylor's has ended is with a blinded heart. My blinded heart.

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><p><strong><em>I know I keep saying updates will speed up but at the moment they won't, I've got exams again and being forced to retake a chemistry just to get a higher C which is pointless.<em>**

**_Review because I hate Macbeth and over analysing it? Maybe his curtains were red because the director liked red and not because of all the murders!_**


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